The past, the future

A lesson that i've learnt is to not crash and burn,
as my error riddled life begins to take a turn,
i was just about to make one of the dumbest decisions in my life,
and to be quite fair to myself, i'd be putting myself in strife,
i can't afford to lose it over just a little thing,
but you can't blame me cause of the smiles that she brings,
saying her name would just be another wound in my heart,
as everything i do just seems to fall apart,
i hope that it is something that i begin to contemplate,
having second thoughts on her, as she may be fake,
but for the time being, i will take a step back,
to rejuvinate myself and to keep myself intact,
shes still in my mind but i know my chances are gone,
and now i begin to question if she was leading me on.